All Tuckered Out, The Sleepiest Guys You Know – Birthday Edition

Same drill as a couple weeks ago weeks ago guys. Let’s see if we can hit some long shots (I’ll take two out of three). First, let’s address a couple more important factors. First, yes it is my birthday – having a joint party for me and my fiancée tomorrow (her birthday is Sunday) – so if any of you are looking to fly in, by all means go for it. Second, I didn’t publicize this as much as I should have, but last weekend I was in Tuscaloosa for my bachelor party (the way my buddies planned it, I actually didn’t know where we were going until we were in Detroit for a connecting flight) and let me tell you, it will go down as one of the best days ever. Let me lay out the core details of Saturday:

  • 6:30 AM woken up by the Bachelor Party planner parading around the house we rented blaring that song we’re coming… your city blah blah blah” as loud as possible
  • 7:30 AM we get to Publix (they exist for more than just Crab Legs, and they’re AWESOME) and pick up 120 beers for the ten of us – a solid start
  • 8:00 AM we get to our tailgate spot, about 1000 feet from Bryant Denny Stadium
  • 8:30 AM we check out Gameday, it’s obviously amazing, but we decide that drinking is first priority, so we head back to tailgate
  • 9:00 AM Chick Fil A breakfast arrives (it’s incredible)
  • 10:45 AM we head back to Gameday for the Head Gear pick
  • 11:00 AM kick off of the noon games (Alabama isn’t on EST – who knew?!?!)
  • 12:00 PM Catered lunch arrives! I can’t remember from where or what it was, but it was delicious
  • 2:15 PM We head into the stadium
  • 2:30 – 6:30 PM watch this epic slugfest (which pretty much everyone knew Bama was gonna win from kickoff, and really the fans acted BAU even when the game ended, which was…impressive)
  • 6:30 PM Back to the tailgate!!! Dreamland BBQ dinner is waiting for us
  • 9:00 PM the tailgate winds down, so we trek to the most college-y, southern, disgusting bar we can find (I believe it’s spelled “Gellette’s”). Think Jersey Shore dance club, but with big screen TVs all over the dance floor with exclusively College Football – what more could you want!
  • 11:00 PM MAN DOWN!! One of our party is lost! But before we address that, onto the next bar.
  • 12:00 AM Okay, we can’t ignore any longer that one of our friends is nowhere to be seen
  • 12:05 AM He’s in the hospital. I’m going to Jimmy Johns.

If that seems weak, a lot of the more slimy, swine-y, morbid, unforgivable details have been left out (as Zach has told me that he can’t guarantee that young children won’t be reading this article)


Anyway, moving on here’s my long shots for this weekend:

QB: Reggie Bonnafon, Louisville, $4,500 DK

I know! He was REALLY bad earlier this year (the kid couldn’t even get it together against putrid Wake. But let’s forgive him, he’s a True Freshman thrust into duty in an offense that at that point hadn’t really hit its stride. Let’s fast forward. DeVante Parker is back and wreaking havoc on every team he faces (he could probably drop 80 yards with me throwing, and I can’t throw a football 15 yards past the line of scrimmage). The running game has been on point three straight games now, whether it be Michael Dyer, or Brandon Radcliff. Bonnafon himself looked to benefit from both of these factors in relief of Will Gardner, as he put up 25 fantasy points against BC in about a half of action, doing damage mostly with his legs, but also with his arm. Now, he gets a Notre Dame defense in South Bend, which hasn’t exactly been ferocious of late. I know – I don’t want to accept that they’re as bad as they are either. But they just gave up 43 points to Northwestern and Trevor Simien. That’s really, really bad. The kid is still a true freshman, so who knows if this stage is just too big for him (would you blame him?) – but I’m feeling confident enough in him to throw him in a couple lineups myself.

Projection: 17/29, 230 yards, 2 TDs, 16 rushes, 76 yards, 1 TD -> 30.8 fantasy points (sounds like a lot, but the numbers don’t look that great – right?)

RB: Christian McCaffrey, Stanford, $3,000 DK

This one could really blow up in my face, but I think he’s trending in the right direction and is primed for a real breakout game. It’s been clear really since the Wazzu game last month that this kid has a ton of talent – and not just that boring battering ram Stanford talent that David Shaw gets off on. I don’t wanna say he’s shifty, but he’s clearly athletic, and has a solid frame, while having ability both as a runner and pass catcher. He’s been somewhat seldom used, but while Stanford doesn’t seem ready to commit to him in a set capacity, they’ve made a concerted effort to get him involved. Last week, McCaffrey had his best week to date, catching 3 balls for a whopping ten yards, while rushing 8 times for 77 yards. The main thing this week that potentially gives me pause, is that the way you beat Cal through the air – they were STOKED to shut down Javorious Allen last week while Nelson Agholor lit up the sky against them. That being said, I like the creative ways Stanford uses McCaffrey, and I think after last week’s performance, he should be ticketed for an expanded role, even if it’s only incrementally so. These Bears aren’t exactly tackling wizards – let’s get the kid 15 touches and see what happens, okay?

Projection: 11 carries, 68 yards, 1 TD, 4 catches, 34 yards -> 20.2 fantasy points

(I’m really tempted to go with my dude Villamin, but I won’t cop out like that – I have to much self-respect, and too much respect for you guys)

WR: Tony Pierson, Kansas, $3,400 DK

You heard it here first – Kansas and their arsenal of fully automated weapons are going to take down Oklahoma in Norman. That being said, the damage might be done more so through the air, and this is probably the pick that feels like the biggest reach. I find myself taking Tony Pierson some weeks the same reason I end up taking Tyreek Hill a lot of times – guaranteed touches, and plenty of them. The potential tie breaker here for me is that it’s tough to have any faith in unproven, though heralded, commodity Mason Rudolph, whereas it’s tough not to be in awe of what Michael Cummings has done since taking his rightful place as Kansas’ starting qb a few weeks back. Now Pierson had a really nice game, much like everyone tends to, against Iowa State two games back, but scuffled last week against TCU for only 33 yards on 11 carries. The thing, which I’m sure you know, is that Fast Tony in reality is not a receiver but a full-fledged running back. The dude definitely has skills in space, and Kansas, now that Fat Charlie is out-skis, is keen on using him. I think he probably has to score to hit value, but OU’s defense, though the issues have mainly been in the secondary – has not exactly been Sooner-ific. I know I’m crazy for taking your time and setting it on fire as you read about these sleepiest of sleepers – but don’t hang me until after Kansas wins 34-24 in Norman.

Projection: 16 carries, 73 yards, 1 TD, 2 catches, 14 yards -> 16.7 fantasy points


Good luck this weekend everyone! Oh so few precious College Football weekends to go!


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